Friday, February 12, 2010

Since When Do Pediatricians Give Parenting Advice?

Yesterday I took Goobie for her well baby check up with a new doctor. She had a different pediatrician before but because the commute was just becoming too much so I decided to switch her to Kaiser which is where I go for my medical needs and is only about 8 minutes away from home. Anway, like they say first impressions count and so far not a good one..

He enters the room and introduces himself and doesn't take a moment to interact with Goobie. Strike one! He immediately jumps in and starts questioning the gaps and non existent dosages of vaccinations on her immunization book, and I thought, oh boy here we go! so I thought, rather than going into this whole spiel about why I have chosen not to inoculate Goobie with certain shots anymore, I'll just tell him which ones I would like her to have and when...and thought that he would move right along with the check-up. Instead he started questioning, and judging me about my choices saying that I was putting my child at risk with so many outbreaks especially of the Swine Flu, the flu, and Hepatitis A. I tried to bite my tongue, but I was getting heated so I then had to give him my spiel on my reasonings why, and he kept challenging me and telling me that I was wrong,etc, etc... all the meanwhile Goobie is growing antsy, and I'm thinking can you just shut the hell up and just examine my daughter! (sorry... I'm still a little heated about my experience with that prick of a doctor) so I tried to cut him off and told him politely that I appreciated his thoughts, but could we please move along?

Round 2...while he's examining Goobie, he starts asking me where Goobie sleeps, and I tell him that she's sleeps for a few hours in her crib, and still wakes up during the night, but that we're hoping for some type of relief by switching her to a toddler bed. He immediately says, 'what's the big rush?' ...'if you're scared that she's going to climb out or jump off, that'd be the least of my worries, because in my 20 years of practice, I've never seen a kid get badly hurt'...'besides, getting her into a toddler bed will make things worse because she can get out of the bed, and she'll want to climb in your bed, or walk around in the middle of the night." Ok, seriously who asked your opinion buddy? Yes, I aware that she will be able to get out of the bed, and have already discussed how we will handle the situation with the mister, and no I am not scared she will leap out of her crib. She just doesn't like the darn crib, period! We've struggled with this for almost two years. All the while, Goobie once again is getting really fidgety, and to try distracting her for a bit while Doc/Parenting advisor is going on a giving her some crayons. The bastard cuts me off, and says 'no colors right now' could you believe what a jerk he was?

At that point, I had just about had it with him, and asked him if he was going to continue with her exam, and no longer wished to hear him lecture me. So he continues with the exam, but continues talking about the whole vaccination issue saying that he doesn't know where I'm getting my information, or who I'm talking to, etc etc but he thinks I should really consider the risk I am subjecting my child I finally told him again that I thanked him for his concern but again would appreciate him to stop.

He finished the exam, gave Goobie a clean bill of health (though distracted), handed me his card, and said that if I wanted to further discuss the issue about the vaccines to call him because he thought I was making basing my choices on what I read or hear...ok buddy, whatever. I took his card, and crumpled it in my hand and threw it away as I walked out! Seriously, who did this guy think he was? First and last time I take the Goobster to that so called Doctor. And like I mentioned earlier, to make matters worse, besides the exam, he didn't even bother to interact with Goobie!

I can appreciate constructive, unbiased advice from a doctor, but to outright be challenged, judged and made to appear as if I was crazy because I choose to not conform to his way is blatantly wrong! I knew I should have gone with my gut and chosen that other Doctor. What a nightmare...::sigh::


BaronessVonVintage said...

what a nightmare! I hate to openly admit this, but I NEVER go to male doctors! EVER!

~Tessa~Scoffs said...

Sorry I haven't commented in a while. I think my dashboard got messed up and I've missed a few months of your posts. I've always told my friends that with regard to parenting our children, doctors have no business telling you three things (1) where your child sleeps; (2) when to stop nursing; and (3) how much (if any) you let your child cry. Doctors are FAR from being parenting experts. If my child is sick, I listen to the doctor's advice. If it is a parenting style issue, I ignore.

Kristen said...

Wow, what a disturbing trip to the pediatrician!

I did have a doc question me on why I hadn't enrolled my 5 year-old son in preschool or kindergarten yet (um, hello, you don't do that when you're homeschooling) - but when she looked down to see my son quietly writing out and solving multiplication problems on the exam table paper as he waited, she dropped the subject quickly. LOL

Don't let anyone tell you how to raise your child. We didn't get the H1N1 vaccines either, and we're all fine. Plus, Toad made the toddler bed switch just fine and he was pretty young when we did it.